Pick Up Your Toys!!!

How many times have you found yourself yelling this old refrain, usually while you’re cooking, or maybe even when you’re picking up the toys yourself?

Do you wish you could motivate your kids to help out more around the house–without the nagging and yelling?

Kids are much more capable and smarter than we often give them credit for. Beyond picking up their toys, it’s not unreasonable to expect children to help clear the dishwasher, set and clear the table, fill the dishwasher, fold their laundry and put it away, make and change their bed, vacuum or sweep floors, and help wash the car.

With the right incentives, structure, and coaching (note I didn’t say coaxing), your kids can–and will–do more around the house.

1. Be present. You’ll be a lot more effective if you’re in your child’s space, even down at their level. Don’t yell at them from another room or another floor. Can you imagine how you’d feel if your boss yelled at you from her office? Would you want to do anything for her?

2. Make it fun. I’ve always thought the word “chore” is exactly like it sounds: tedious and boring. If you can find a way to inject some fun into your kids’ jobs, then you might find they’re more willing to get the job done. Shoot “baskets” with stuffies, have races to see who can do something the fastest, or have contests and “titles” for the best (fill in the blank).

3. Be consistent. When you’re tired and weary, sometimes it seems so much easier just to do the job yourself. But by being consistent with your kids, you set up the right expectations and the jobs become habit-forming. Our kids take turns clearing out the dishwasher in the morning. They’ve been doing it for so long, most of the time they’ll just start without a word from me (unless, of course, they’re arguing over whose turn it is).

4. Lead by example. Kids have eagle eyes and the moment you’re inconsistent, they’ll catch you. If you do the exact opposite of what you’re trying to teach them (for example, cleaning up your clutter), then you risk losing credibility. Also, be mindful of how you talk about your job and your responsibilities. If you talk about them in a negative way, why will your kids think their responsibilities are going to be any better?

5. Make chores a family affair. Designate a time of day or week when everyone is pitching in and doing their part. That way, it won’t appear anyone is slacking off or not carrying their weight

6. Don’t bribe or threaten or guilt, but do provide incentives. Bribing is a slippery slope. The stakes often have nowhere to go but up, and can even lose their lustre over time. In our house, the kids have to get their jobs and homework done before they’re allowed to watch TV or play video games. Think of the privileges that your children enjoy, and treat them as such.

7. Make sure dad/your husband/partner/significant other stays involved. I admit that sometimes I play the Dad card. My husband plays a much better “enforcer” role than I, and when I’m tired and just too weary to fight any battles, my husband steps in. And then the kids really listen.

Kim Dudra is a freelance copywriter based in Vancouver, B.C., and is the owner of re:fresh communications. She’s been known to juggle four kids’ schedules, three computers, two cats, and one cup of coffee, all at once. Kim is a featured writer for girlgetstrong.