Can you take a “guilt free” childless vacation?

With two small children ages 5 and 2, any thought of a few days away for business or mini vacation comes with tremendous guilt. One of my top priorities as a Mom of two is to spend as much time as possible with my children and give them the utmost sense of security and stability that I can. Going away seems to counteract these two objectives as a parent. That being said, I strongly believe a few days to yourself once in a while, away from your children is not all bad and can actually promote independence and self-confidence (or so that’s what I tell myself). As devoted parents we also need to have some time to ourselves or with our significant other to decompress, recharge and stay focused on the long-term support of our little ones.

There are a few key strategies I think make a short getaway a good experience for both parents and children.

• First and foremost, the children need to have all the information. They need to know where and why you are going away and they need to have promises kept. The best thing is to tell them where you are going, how long you will be away (usually outlined in “number of sleeps” works well) and when you will be returning.
• If possible, call them daily before bed or in the morning to let them know them everything is alright and that you will be returning soon.
• Ensure that your children are cared for by someone they already have a relationship with and trust. Whether it be relatives, grandparents or a known babysitter or nanny, the kids must know that they are safe while mom is away.

Another nice touch I add when away for a few days, is to leave some surprises for them to open every day to remind them I am thinking of them. Some small tokens that I know they will enjoy are wrapped up and left for them to open each day that I am gone. The dollar store is great place for such items. Low cost but huge emotional value.

Finally, Making sure I deliver on my promises is the most important factor. If I say I am going to call at a certain time, I make sure I do. If I am going to be late or delayed in my return, I reset expectations and communicate the reasons why.

Consistent behavior and follow thru will make sure that every time you do need or want to get away for a few days, your children will know and trust that things will be ok and you will be returning when you say. That being said, every weekend is not a good idea for an adults only road trip, but even once or a few times a year will be beneficial for everyone…..especially mom and dad.